Post-graduation qualms

I am in such a weird state of mind since I graduated.

I miss college and yet I don’t. I miss the stress and yet I don’t. I miss the pile of books and papers on my desk and yet I don’t. I miss writing essays and meticulously quoting every damn thing to avoid the tidal wave of Plagiarism knocking me over and yet I effing don’t. (I know, the latter will be an ongoing thing if I want to pursue whatever writing career anyways ~.~)

Overall, conflicted much? Yup-yup.

But I would be lying if I didn’t miss some of it. I miss the bureaucratic nonsense of my college, the shitty website, their system overhaul that screwed me over a few times and gave me mini-heart attacks right and left when I thought I had fulfilled all my damn math and science requirements (math and science have broken up with me since elementary school). I miss heading to class with almost (not entirely) like minded students and then never seeing them again the next semester… I miss going to class and finding out that the professor who I tirelessly researched about turned out to be an insufferable baboon. I miss the stress of scrambling to find classes that have been snatched away from under my nose during registration even though they were placed IN MY SHOPPING CART (not literal, online, you know, oooooh so techy much advanced ~.~). Finally, I miss all the hours, days and weekends where my eyes were solely focused on homework, essays and books instead of my growing and developing daughter.

Ultimately, do I have any regrets about college? Well, maybe that I didn’t seize enough opportunities? I was consistently disappointed by the creative writing courses. I thought something magical would happen, but that’s what you get when your expectations are at times unrealistically high. Lot of the improvement definitely came from my history classes, but that is more about writing cryptically than, you know, flowery and imaginatively for writing fiction. But otherwise, I don’t have any regrets. It was a path I was meant to take. It changed me for the better. I learned a lot more about the world and myself, to some degree. I deepened my love for writing and history. I overcame some of my shyness and my painfully introverted tendencies.

Am I going to do my masters? Uhm, hold your horses let me breath! It took me 6 years to just do my bachelors and I took two years off to raise my daughter as I was mentally unfit to even think about studying.

So, Masters will come later when the thirst for knowledge is unbearable, but for now I will enjoy the bliss and tranquility.

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